I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
