I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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