He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Dignity is for republicans.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
