does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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