This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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