The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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