It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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