At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
