There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
