I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The best revenge is premature balding
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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