I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
you never un-have a 4some
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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