Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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