the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
is this the sara with the beer cane?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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