How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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