i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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