My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
