Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My penis needs a shock collar
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
