i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
