I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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