i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
