Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
