Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
