I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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