I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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