remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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