please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
