what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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