I must be too annoying 4 u.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She bit a glass in half.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
