how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
