i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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