My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How drunk are you?
Completed.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
