Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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