my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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