I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
40s are totally the cure
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
