First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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