I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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