Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
