Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
