i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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