Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
