So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
