Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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