yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
