also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
