ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
