Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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