I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Oh god it's open bar.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
