she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We're too hungover to prance.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
