WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Randomize
