It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
