didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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