Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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