I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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