What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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