Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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