i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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