At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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